After two and a half years of longing to have a baby, Hubby and I found out we were expecting in December of 2014. It was the most amazing feeling when I saw the positive pregnancy test. The emotions that flooded through my body mind and soul were coming from every different direction. I’ve waited to share this story with the world because it was such a touchy subject I was afraid to say what we were doing and receive any criticism. I was too tender the deal with it anymore then I already had to. I was sharing and processing with many others who are going through similar trials. The friendships born from that pain are more then worth the time and waiting I spent. I also received tons of encouragement from my community. I can’t emphasize that enough. I’m so thankful!
What’s going on?
I have irregular periods which means irregular ovulation. That makes it pretty tricky to conceive… During those two years we spent a lot of time and money on me. I went to see a Naturalpathic Doctor. (You may have read about some of the other ailments she helped me with in earlier posts.) For the first year I focused on balancing my hormones and eating a diet that would encourage healthy fertility and health in general. I took some herbs as well and attempted to live a more stress free life.
The following spring I had seen improvements in my health and in the regularity of my cycle, but I still didn’t have any answers about why my cycle was such a mess. I talked to my family doctor and after a few tests she referred us to the fertility clinic. After feeling like a science experiment I was told I had a very common hindrance to pregnancy called Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). It was such a relief to finally have an answer but also a whole new level of scary in regards to the future of our family building prospects.
Our specialist did encourage us that it is not impossible to get pregnant with PCOS, just difficult. He recommended I take synthetic hormones to force my period and ovulation. I asked if there were other options for treatment and I was told that there were not. Long story short, I wasn’t convinced. I wanted to be healthy so that I could conceive naturally. Treat the cause, not the symptom. I went home and did some personal research and found many many stories of how women with PCOS dealt with their condition, and got pregnant without the use of medications. Using my Naturalpath as my “am I being safe and intelligent” accountability, I dove deeper into the world of fertility diet and wellness. I saw little hints of improvement in my health.
It was that winter that Hubby came to me and said he thought God had told him we were going to be pregnant this time next year. We tucked the thought away to wait and see. This premonition filled me with hope and determination.
One more spring passed and after much deliberation Hubby and I decided it was time for a big change. I left my job working for the church to stay home and rest. I finished my days with an awesome team at the beginning of June, I did a few crazy things in July and early August with my youth group and then I slept! For about a week I just rested and tried to come down from my crazy busy and oh so important lifestyle. 😉
After hibernating for a few weeks Hubby had an idea for me. He’d been seeing a Traditional Chinese Medicine Doctor in the city for years, and he suggested I go and meet him and consider the treatment that he could offer. I went into my research mode again and with greatly renewed anticipation agreed to go and meet this doctor. When we sat down with him, he began by telling me his own story of trying to conceive with his wife for a long time. He talked about how timing has a big part to play in it. He talked about how the womb needs to be in the right condition to grow a baby. Like a field needs to be in the right condition to grow a crop, the womb needs to be warm and hydrated. He also talked to us about the spiritual component of his journey. Everything is connected. I felt deep in my heart that this was going to be different. I had my first acupuncture appointment and ordered a months worth of Chinese herbal medicine. For the next couple of months I visited this doctor for acupuncture twice a week and took my herbs twice a day. As I lay with the needles in me I would pray that this was Gods way of healing me, and I would pray for the many people I’d met who were struggling with infertility as well. My cycle which had been absent for over 100 days came around the beginning of the treatment and then again at the end of the second month of treatment. A two month cycle for me was really close together. Finally significant improvement! (And I didn’t have to take any synthetic hormones which was really important to me!)
My next cycle came 30 days after the first of my last cycle! It felt like a miracle because things were improving so much! I was so excited to see if my next cycle would come at 30 days. I continued to track my temperature and signs for ovulation and I thought I might have ovulated but my signs weren’t all quite where I thought they should be. After years of this kind of thing it doesn’t really effect your emotions any more. I just figured that we will keep waiting and see what next month has in store. My period was late, my breasts were sore, my emotions were up and down, I was pretty sure I was getting my period about two weeks “late”. My friend was visiting over the weekend and kept pushing me to check and see. She’d noticed that I was eating a lot more then usual and was wondering what was up. Another friend who was trying to conceive at the same time was also pushing me to check. I was reluctant because when you have an irregular cycle you don’t check every time you’re “late” because late is only relevant to a “normal 28 day cycle”, which I most definitely did not have. Not to mention there is a lot of pressure when other people think you’re pregnant and you know how many negative tests you’ve seen. I was scared and sceptical.
I woke up on a Sunday morning in early December about 3 weeks “late” and figured I might as well try. It would at least get my friends to stop asking. I took the test and just stared at it in disbelief. I had never seen the test look like that. My throat suddenly got really hard and my eyes filled up. I gasped a few gulps of air and let the moment sink in. It wasn’t sinking in, I set the test aside on the sink and went and sat on the edge of our bed where Hubby was still asleep. I sat staring into space waiting to understand. Hubby woke up suddenly like something loud and spontaneous had just happened but the room was quiet and still. He asked me if I was ok. I looked at him and said, “I don’t know!” My head was whirling.
I jumped up and ran to get the box and test to show him. He stared with disbelief just as I had. We talked about and googled the possibility of false positive. It was too good to be true for both of us. He then held me in our bed and we prayed asking for this to be true.
I called my family doctors office to get an appointment for the next day so that we could confirm. Church that afternoon was so difficult. We had friends come and pray for us and I felt so deceptive not saying, “I think I really am pregnant this time!”
We went to the doctors appointment the next day and confirmed that I really was pregnant! We booked our first ultrasound and called our parents to tell them the great news. We had finally conceived! The next weeks of keeping it a secret from friends and extended family were brutal. We only told a few of our closest friends so that if something tragic happened we wouldn’t be left to deal with it all on our own. I’ll save telling friends for the next story, Pregnant with Micah.